Jared and Avi

Joseph Aaron

He is the pisher’s pisher.

Look at the photo at the bottom. It shows, at left, chief White House pisher, Jared Kushner, who is a punk clueless kid with no discernible talents, abilities, experience or qualifications but who is senior advisor to the president of the United States because he is married to the daughter of the president of the United States. I’ll get to the pisher on the right in just a bit.

You know, all my Trump bashing aside, how embarrassing is it that the three highest ranking and most powerful Jews in our government are Kushner, who has achieved nothing in his life except for being born to a wealthy real estate developer and marrying the daughter of a wealthy real estate developer; Ivanka, who is Jewish and is even less qualified to be a senior advisor to the president than Jared is, but who holds that lofty title and position because her daddy is president of the United States.

And, perhaps worst of all, is another Jew, Steven Miller who, in total opposition to everything Judaism teaches and stands for, is the guiding force behind the administration’s unbelievably cruel and anti-American immigration policy that separates families, that keeps people locked up in cages, that is trying to drastically reduce the number of legal immigrants to this country and is working to set up a system where the only ones of the few still allowed to come are well off, educated, scientific or high tech types. Evidently huddled masses yearning to breathe free are no longer welcome.

Which means if Steven Miller the Jew was in charge after the Holocaust, my mom, my dad, my grandparents on my mom’s side, would not have been let in. They were Holocaust survivors, penniless refugees who didn’t speak English and so, based on the Miller way, of no use to this country.

I know I’m almost irrational about it, but I truly hate Jared and Ivanka. There is just something about how entitled they act, how smug they are, how self-delusional they are that they don’t see how massively unqualified they are to hold such jobs, and how cowardly they are in that they don’t speak up in the one area where they could use their influence, namely to instruct daddy and daddy-in-law about how to be a mensch, how Judaism tells a person to be and behave.

Remember that you were strangers in a strange land, justice justice shalt thou pursue, don’t do unto others as you would not have done unto you, do not slander another, be kind always to every other, are all Torah messages they could teach Trump but they don’t.

Instead they act like they are so superior to the rest of us, they use Judaism when it’s convenient for them and discard it when it gets in the way of them grabbing the spotlight. I am and will always be very angry that when Trump made his first foreign trip to Saudi Arabia and left on a Friday night, which Jews know as the Shabbat, there were Javanka on the plane, having their spokesman say they had gotten rabbinical approval to violate the laws of Shabbat, which as pretend Orthodox Jews, they claim to observe.

Except they never revealed who the rabbi was who supposedly gave them permission to fly on Shabbat. When reporters asked the three rabbis it would most likely be – the rabbi who converted Ivanka, the rabbi who gave a benediction at the inaugural, the rabbi of the shul in Washington where they are members – all said they had not been asked to give rabbinical sanction and if they had been asked, they would have said no.

That to me encapsulates Javanka. The rules don’t apply to them. Lie if you need to. Do what’s cool like fly to Saudi Arabia even if it totally violates everything you say you believe in. Believe your presence is vital at any important meeting.

In our next issue, I will be writing my annual look back at the Jewish year coming to a close. And I’m wrestling with a real problem. There were so many horrendous Jews doing so many horrendous things, it’s really hard to choose who the year’s worst Jew was. Was it Miller, who viciously went after innocent refugees fleeing hell, was it Jeffrey Epstein, the maven of perverts, was it Alan Dershowitz, who has sold his soul to be on TV and get invited to dinner with Trump, was it Jared who said back almost three years ago, he had the secret sauce to finally bring peace between Israel and the Palestinians.

Think of the absolute arrogance it takes to think you can do that when you have no experience in diplomacy, in peace negotiation, in geopolitical affairs, in the intricacies of the Middle East. Dennis Ross couldn’t get a deal, George Mitchell couldn’t, Tony Blair couldn’t, Marine four star general Anthony Zinni couldn’t, but pisher Jared is sure he can. Though it’s been almost three years and still no plan.  

You know I’ve said a lot lately about how Bibi is systemically weakening democracy in Israel and I know most of you don’t believe that even if it’s true which it is. But imagine. Israel is about to have an election just a few months after having had an election. What kind of democracy has two elections in six months? And even Israel’s president just said how wrong it was for Bibi, when he failed to form a coalition after this year’s first election, that he didn’t, as tradition and precedent called for, hand back the mandate given to him by the president so he could then task another party leader with trying to form a government. No Bibi instead, for the first time in Israeli history, simply shut down Israel’s parliament, forcing a second election this year and costing the Israeli taxpayers tens of millions of dollars.

But you know, I’m happy Israel is having another election. You know why? It’s because it’s like buying a lottery ticket. Between the time you buy the ticket and the time the winning numbers are drawn, you can dream about what you will do if you win. It’s all possibility and happy thoughts of what might be if you are holding the winning card.

So it is with the election a week away. Between now and then, I can dream of what I will do if Bibi loses. I can fantasize what it would be like for him to be gone, out of office finally, not continuing to do damage to Israel, erode its democracy, corrupt its politics, coarsen its dialogue, needlessly scare people with his Iran psychosis.

Oh, by the way, did you read the recent New York Times lengthy expose about how a few years ago Bibi wanted really badly to launch an attack on Iran. He indeed ordered his generals to draw up operational plans. The only thing that stopped his insanity and saved Israel from disaster were three true patriots – the head of the Mossad, the head of the Shin Bet, Israel’s FBI, and the chief of staff of the army — who told Bibi he was nuts to think of bombing Iran and if he ordered a strike, all three of them would resign in protest and warn the public of what Bibi was up to.

Now to the pisher’s pisher. As you may have noticed, Jason Greenblatt, who along with Jared, was the chief Middle East peace negotiator, just quit. Which is weird since if the plan will soon be released, as Jared says it will, you would think Greenblatt would want to be there to see it get off the ground. But no, he out of the blue, left. I’m sure one day we’ll find out the true story why.

And so who did pisher Jared pick to replace Greenblatt? Someone who is even more of a pisher than Jared is. His name is Avi Berkowitz and he’s the guy on the right in the photo on the other page. Look at the two pishers in that picture. These are the guys who are going to bring peace to the Middle East? They look like counselors at a Jewish summer camp.

What qualifies Berkowitz to hold such a major job, be one of the two key guys to bring peace? Nothing, of course. Berkowitz is all of 30 years old. “Trump’s New Mideast Point Man Is Jared Kushner’s Former Coffee Boy Avi Berkowitz,” Vanity Fair wrote. And from New York magazine: “Trump Somehow Replaces Unqualified Mideast Envoy With Even Less Qualified One.”

Kushner met Avi at a pickup basketball game at a Passover retreat in Phoenix, Arizona.

Much of his job qualification appears to be being joined at the hip to Kushner and Ivanka. Much of Avi’s Twitter feed is retweets of articles praising the two, at times accompanied by a Berkowitz addition of an emoji expressing joy.

And so because Javanka have him as their cute little pet, Trump named him deputy assistant to the president and advisor to senior advisor Jared (yes, advisor to the advisor is correct).

Martin Indyk, who held jobs similar to Greenblatt’s under Democratic administrations, on Twitter called Berkowitz a “nice guy but does not have the weight or experience of Trump’s former real estate lawyer,” meaning Greenblatt.

Look, I know there’s not going to be peace as long as Trump, Bibi and Abbas are in office. None of them comes close to understanding how a peace process can work. But to me, there is something about picking Avi Berkowitz to be a chief peace negotiator that is just so insulting, so absurd, shows the insane time in which we live, the not funny joke of the Trump clown show we are living under.

But so it is. But instead of getting upset, for the next week I’m going to happily contemplate the Israeli election and the possibility we will all win when Bibi loses. It could happen. For now, that’s one lottery ticket I’m holding on to. Better that than trying to deal with having a pisher and a junior pisher as the guys in charge of bringing peace to the Middle East.

1 Comment on "Jared and Avi"

  1. I’m with you word for word!
    Am holding my breath and praying for.Bibi and his gang to lose the elections and for a sane united coalition
    to lead Israel. Am so so embarrassed about these prominent American Jews. Can’t believe how Trump and his
    sycophants are destroying all that is good and kind in America.
    As a child of survivors who has lived in Israel and emigrated to the U.S. I feel it all and am afraid for the future
    of Israel, the U.S and Jews throughout the world.

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